pills.

been drinking a lot of water lately, 2 liters in 30 minutes. i might be dying.

07:30 am- woke up to my alarm clock, terribly thirsty. been keeping a 2 liter 7up bottle full of water beside my bed. drank the whole thing, poured in more water from the kitchen sink.

07:35 am- needed my daily fiber. went to the bathroom, took two chewable fiber tablets.

07:37 am- sat at the computer, lit a cigarette. checked my emails. nothing special. another disappointing day.

07:40 am- went back to bed.

10:06 am- woke again, having to piss but not realizing it, wondering why i wasn't falling back asleep.

10:10 am- finished pissing.

10:11 am- lay down again, not wishing to crawl back out.

10:34 am- gave up to the inevitable.

10:36 am- dropped a scoop of strawberry whey protein into 6 oz. water in a plastic cup, shook it, used it to wash down two amino acid pills, one omega 3 and one Vitamin E.


11:11 am- tied my shoes. oddly, i had been taking off my shoes at 11:11 pm, and putting them back on at 11:11 am lately.

11:43 am- bought my ice coffee and an apple fritter, looking out the coffee shop window at a beautiful woman in a grey slip doing her laundry, thinking i should buy more water pills that day.

12:45 pm- parked my car, paid the meter.

12:52 pm- took my first dump, noticed white mucous in my stool, thinking i should search webmd once i was home.

1:02 pm- shrink appointment: stared at each other for 20 minutes, talked about movies.

1:39 pm- said i had to leave early, avoiding a parking ticket.

2:26 pm- a new stock of water pills at Rite-Aid. Jackpot!

3:59 pm- saw the "Home Improvement" guy at Starbucks. hate that guys movies.

4:11 pm- smoked cigarettes with my parking security friend. he always bums, and asks for a second one later.

5:25 pm- ate mexican food.

6:14 pm- back at home. looked on WebMD: definitely IBS. I knew it.

6:58 pm- took two ibuprofen.

7:13 pm- took two water pills.

7:23 pm- started feeling dizzy.

8:01 pm- walked to the Gap, wanted new army pants; they didn't have any.

8:05 pm- tried on some tight pants.

8:07 pm- in the fitting room, trying them on in front of the mirror. some idiot was trying to open the door. she peeked over the door, looking down on me, with the pants at my knees. i saw her reflection. she stayed there for a moment: "sorry, doll" she said. then she walked away, laughing. whoever does that should have to let me have sex with her, on principle.

8:15 pm- bought a shirt and shorts, walked home.

8:43 pm- washed down my antidepressants with a cold Heineken. used to take them in the morning, but i was tired of taking them that early.

9:55 pm- went to the video store, rented Juno.

10:01 pm- made it home, finished 2 liters of water in one drink.

10:16 pm- played the movie.